trashpastafandomcom-20200215-history
Santa Claus is Coming... To Kill You!
Lately, there's been a slew of reports of old saint Nick trying to kill people in the town. A victim claims that the not so jolly fat man tried to choke them to death with his bare hands. Luckily, the victim had peeper spray, and warded the red coated psycho away. Reports like these have been coming all over town, and many people are worried about leaving their houses because of it. Me personally, I've been on high alert about my surroundings. I vowed to never leave the house later than 10:00 PM. After all, I don't want my cause of death to be killed by a fat old man with mental issues. That would be embarrassing... I turned on the news before I went to bed. Of course, they were talking about the demon in red. This time it seems that he made a car catch on fire. People around town have been missing as well. Geez, I remember when this town was safe to live in. Who knows what the deranged fat guy in red is going to do next. He'll probably sneak into people's houses, and put a bomb under the tree. And when Christmas day comes, the kids opening the gift will blow up, along with the house. Man, I really need to get some sleep. I'm starting to have thoughts like the bearded fat freak. Time for bed. Hours later, I awoke for work. It was December 23rd, my final day at the job. I work at a warehouse, inspecting crates, and making sure everything is in order. I work there 15 hours a day, from 6:30 AM - 9:15 PM. Yeah, it doesn't help that the job itself is pretty dull. Check this, check that. It's not very fun. But hey, I get paid 7 bucks an hour for a relatively easy job. Eh... it's not really that bad now that I think about it. Well, time time to get ready, and head over there. It's 9:00 PM now. I'm doing a few more checks, then I'm off home. After I got done, I got ready to leave. But I started hearing ruckus in one of the storage rooms. I went to go investigate. The more I got closer to the room, the louder this whistling sound got. This is definitely an invasion. Luckily they gave me this plastic stick, and not a gun. Great job, am I right? I entered the storage room. I could hardly see a thing. I popped out my flashlight, and scanned the area. No sign of an intruder it seems. Then I heard something fall from one of the shelves. I quickly called out "Who's there?" while waving my flashlight around. I walked towards where the shelves were at. In between theme, there seemed to be a gift nicely wrapped up on the ground. Do I dare open it up? What if it's a bomb? Or some type of radioactive substance that will give me super powers? I'm a sucker for gifts, so I opened it up anyway. Inside was a snow-globe. It was quite cute. You shake it around, and little snow bits sprinkle everywhere inside. That is... until I shined my flashlight on it. Inside of the snow-globe was more than little bitty bits of snow. There was a picture inside. A picture of a corpse tied up with Christmas lights. Behind the corpse was that evil man in red, doing the peace sign. After making this discovery, I heard what to be water pouring on the ground. I turned around behind me, and dropped the snow-globe. It was ol' satanic Nick. He was pouring gasoline on the ground. He put one finger up to his lips, and went "Shhhhh..." He then got out a lit match, and threw it on the gasoline. I immediately made a run for it, while screaming my head off. I could here the flames burn as I was running away, along with the chilling sound of the mascot of black Christmas going "Ho, ho, ho! Merrrry Christmas!" I ran out of the building, and called the cops. Fire fighters arrived shortly there after to put out the fire. The entire storage room got burned down. And because of this, they are now starting to lay off workers... including me. I gave the cops a description of the non-saint in red. He was wearing a not so jolly red suit, a yellow buckle, a scraggly beard, a red night cap with a cotton ball at the end, and he looked middle age. What a psycho. I really hope the cops throw this waste of existence in jail soon. If not, then I fear for the people in this town. I went home later in the night. I'm still very upset that I lost my job. Where am I going to work at now? McDonald's? It's not like it matters anyway right now. It's the holidays, so many jobs are giving their worker's a break. I forgot that I got my nephew Christmas gifts. They're under the Christmas tree near the stairs. I really hope he likes them. Oh well, I should stop worrying about this stuff, and get some sleep. 2:00 AM approaches. I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep. Until I heard something fall from down stairs. I put my glasses on, and got out of bed. As I was going down the hallway upstairs, I could hear an old voice in the distance say, "You better watch out... You better not cry..." I reached the end of the staircase, and the voice got louder. "Better not pout, I'm telling you why..." I took the final step, and looked to my right. He was putting presents under the Christmas tree! "Santa Claus is coming..." He stopped right there, then looked me straight in the face. He continued with last note, in a horrific twist. "to KILL YOU!" I screamed, and ran back up the steps. I could hear his diabolical laugh as I was running. I made it to my bedroom, and dialed 911. "You're call has been forwarded-" Shoot! That sneaky red wearing saint cut the power lines somehow! I prepared my pocket knife, and went down the steps once again. I took each step with severe caution. I reached the bottom step, and he was no where to be seen then. "MERRY CHRISTMAS MOTHER!@#$%!!" A bomb came rolling down the chimney. I stood there frozen to reflect on everything. I lost my job, I'm going to lose my house... and I'm going to die." BOOM! Santa went off on his sled with rain dear, dropping bombs wrapped on the town. "Hohohohohoho!" shouted Santa each explosion. "I've saved the best for last!" Santa yelled while grabbing the big present... with a radiation symbol on it. Santa dropped the atomic bomb on the town, and proceeded to fly high in the sky. The bomb went off, as Santa shouted "Hohoho! Merrrrry Christmas! Ho, hohohoho, ho!" Category:Christmas Category:Santa Claus Category:Psychopaths Category:Killers/Murderers Category:Twist Ending Category:Holidays